Thursday, July 28, 2011

Old memories

Packing is good at bringing back memories, especially for people like us who keep more than just the typical sentimental items that most families lug around with them. We have mountains of clothing, a billion books, folders and book covers and (in my case) honors chemistry binders left over from high school that in all honesty mean nothing to me, and were kept as proof that somehow I managed to pass the class. Things that anyone else would have tossed as soon as they were done, ready and willing to accept the road to a different place in life, severing the ties to whatever was before with open arms and understanding. It's called being an adult, I hear.

As of late - blame the Lexapro, or maybe the extreme exhaustion that comes with childrearing while cleaning and packing an entire house - I've found myself craving these ties less and less. I've been forcing myself onto some trains of thought that are fairly atypical for me, such as the idea that it really is okay to let go of the past and continue on in life, that physical ties are not half as important as the memories I have formed through experience, and that I can really improve my life by letting go of things that have truly held no value to me in some time. If I haven't touched it in three years beyond packing or lugging it around from one house to another, really, then who is it benefiting? Not me, to keep the item around. It would serve someone else far more..

So that's the mental state I'm in right not, and I'm working hard on truly trying to live the ideals that I'm thinking through. Otherwise, we're doing okay. We're tired and stressed, and looking forward (I think) to being done with all of this for a while for sure.

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