On new beginnings

2012 was a hell of a year for us.

I don't even mean that in the "we lost a lot of celebrities and bad things happened" way. I mean that on a very personal level, 2012 sucked to degrees I can only barely comprehend, much less put into coherent words. While it started with what was supppsed to be a promising new job it ended as a painful and poignant reminder of just how hard we can try to achieve our dreams without ever actually getting anything done. It was a frustrating year of two steps forward, one step back, and it seemed like every boon came with a punishment. Numerous illnesses have plagued us this year, as have dental bills, medical bills, lost opportunities, setbacks, and so much overtime that I'm at work more than I see my family. Plans to leave my mother's house by August became plans to try to escape in 2013 sometime, with no solid timeframe. It was agreed that my husband should go back to therapy, and finally, agreed that G - at five and a half - should also seek help.

In short, 2012 sucked balls, and I celebrated its ending by giving it the finger and not watching the ball drop.

Unfortunately 2013 didn't start any differently than its predecessor ended, which is honestly to be expected. Change -- especially good change -- rarely occurs overnight. Hubby is still quick to anger and slow to cool down, the kids are still showing obvious signs of stress and frustration. My mother is still unpredictable, and hasn't stopped treating Hubby like an animal. If the old adage that you should start the new year doing what you want to spend the whole year doing is true, then I will be getting very little sleep, staying frustrated, and will be working a lot.

There are still hints, here and there, of promise. With the solstice over the days are becoming longer, and soon won't feel like they end at 5:30. Spring will return within the next few months, and with it, life hopefully not just for the world, but for our family.

So brightest blessings to your family in this new year; may you be healthy, and have all you need (and a lot of what you want). And if, like us, you too have struggled and are now hoping for better, my cup is raised to you and your's with positive strength in your direction.

On Elections

I voted today.

The man that I voted for, I am thankful to say, has retained his presidency and his opponent has conceded. I am waiting, currently, for President Barack Obama's victory speech.

I honestly wasn't sure I would be able to say that.

The amusing part is watching Facebook explode with commentary and angry tongue-lashings from my numerous conservative friends - they have become angry, even violent and belligerent - who are of the firm belief that somehow, reelecting President Obama will mean their lives imploding without warning.

And while I don't want to upset anyone, nor insult anyone, I'd like to make a very poignant statement:

These people are on food assistance, public aid, the state medical card/Medicaid, and are unemployed or underemployed. They are using birth control that they cannot currently afford, or cannot afford more children, and are aware that they have no desire to bring another life into the world. A number of the people I know live at or below 150% of the poverty line. They struggle, their children eat because of the free or reduced lunch programs, and they owe thousands in student loan debts.

They thought that somehow Romney would fix those things, even when he and his constituents had made it very clear that they had absolutely no intention of serving the middle and lower classes.

I am so happy to see President Obama win reelection.

On Being Away

I have been away for quite some time.

Not away from life, mind you - away from here. Honestly, away from inspiration. I have these issues more often than I probably ought to, as someone who'd like to eventually be considered a "serious" blogger, although I'm aware that at the moment the market for off-label "nonconformist" mom bloggers is so saturated that honestly, I'm another drop in the bucket. This is not my job, nor do I make a single cent off of it. Unlike a lot of the amazing bloggers I follow and know, I don't have the same intuition and innate sense of humor to drive me. Long story short, I don't have a captive audience - and I wouldn't know what to do with one even if I did.

A lot of things have happened on our end as of late that have posed a lot of problems. Both of the kids are now in school - A in the morning for preschool and G all day in kindergarten. From what I can tell, the boys absolutely love it, and it has been an added blessing in that A has been learning more about using the potty and being a big boy. As much as I hate seeing the training pants and diapers go, as it means I no longer have any babies, it's lovely to know we're moving up a step in the world. Both kids continue to impress their teachers with their knowledge of math and reading, and I have a feeling that they'll both end up in the talented and gifted program in our school system once they're old enough to test in at the third grade level. I honestly cannot wait to see what life has in store for them.

As a couple, we're still struggling. Money is a sore spot for us although we've been making progress on our bills. Our medical bills have been some of our biggest issues, as they have been piling up thanks to pneumonia, dental issues, and an MRSA infection I contracted on my abdomen in the last month. On one hand it is a blessing to have medical insurance - and on the other hand I cannot tell you how thankful I am, inwardly, that we are still on Medicaid. Unfortunately, while that should mean all of our non-dental bills should be covered, we still have some issues with bills that slipped between the cracks and weren't submitted to Medicaid. I have been trying to get as much overtime at work as I possibly can, as we are currently looking at several hundred dollars in dental work for Hubby to have done ASAP, and with Yule coming up I am trying hard to find ways to give things to the children that they'll love without breaking the proverbial bank.

Our biggest issue by far is that we are still living with my mother. The house down the street that we lived in last year has come back up on the rental market and we are sorely tempted to inquire, on the idea that maybe the landlords will agree to let us back in - but money of course is the constant issue. We have nothing to back up our desire to live there again; for me, it's a difference of needing to make sure that we are in the same school district for the kids, as I moved schools when I was younger and it was difficult for me to go from one to another. I want to stay in this neighborhood - it's safe, I know it, it's predictable, and it's a place I feel confident raising my children. We will see what happens. Our original goal was to be here no more than a year at best - and it has now been two months past that point and there is no end in sight. At this point we're all honestly tired of being here. It's confining, depressing, and dark. Awnings over most of the windows keep the sun out when the layered blinds and curtains can't manage, the house is in dire need of incredibly expensive repairs, and on October 10th my mother took one of our dogs - the dog she unquestionably was madly in love with - to be put down because of a number of difficult to treat health problems. G was heartbroken but A was tactful as ever and has candidly responded to the situation with commentary on how the dog is now dead. He has the intuition of a three year old, for sure.

Culinarily speaking, this is an amazing time of year - pumpkin is the flavor of the season, and we have been indulging at every opportunity. Pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin pie, and pumpkin cookies with chocolate chips and oats are just a few of the seasonal favorites around here. Unfortunately not enough of our garden survived the summer heat and unpredictable temperatures, so currently the only thing hanging around now is our blueberry bush, which will need to come in soon as the temperatures during the days are now only climbing into the mid-50s, while the nights are hitting at freezing or below. Covering it will simply not suffice in the next week or so.

So, for now, that's everything. I'm going to go clean and create something, probably start making things for the kids, and generally try not to feel like so much of a failure.

On more lies.

There was recently a study published on USHealth's website about how uncircumcised boys are at higher risk for urinary tract infections, or UTIs, than their circumcised counterparts. The article itself is actually very small, and doesn't go into a lot of detail about the physical study itself, and I'll leave reading the article in its uninterrupted entirety up to you, as I figure you're quite capable of reading it yourself. But as I am an intactivist through and through, and the proud mama of two intact and happy (and I should note healthy) boys, I feel the need to show how painfully inept publications like this make an otherwise trusted source of news and health information look. So, for the sake of making some sense of this whole thing and figuring out how it actually applies to the general populace, I'm going to post the contents of the article, but with my added commentary in between, in red - along with plenty of factual, well-researched sources to back up my points.
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MONDAY, July 9 (HealthDay News) -- Uncircumcised boys are at higher risk for urinary tract infections, common bacterial infections that can scar the kidneys if untreated, according to a new study. Oh, is that so? Well, on one hand, you're right there - UTIs can do some pretty serious damage if they're left untreated. But this already misses a huge point: Far more girls than boys develop UTIs after their first year of life, although some studies have shown that before the first year is reached, more boys develop UTIs than girls. The reason for this discrepancy within the first year is unknown, but beyond that it's believed that girls may often hold their urine for longer than boys do, which can cause a UTI, and that girls are more likely to be given baths in water that has been mixed with bubble solution or other potential irritants that can cause UTIs (never mind the fact that proper wiping techniques employed by both parents and child can affect her potential for UTIs). Also, when regarding figures in the US for male babies who develop a UTI before age one, there is a very real possibility that it happens because they are circumcised in the first place, and bacteria has an opportunity to get into places it otherwise wouldn't if the foreskin were still present. Check here, here, here, and here for some good, unbiased information on UTIs and how they affect boys and girls differently during their lives (including a link with great references on how circumcision may negatively affect boys when it comes to UTIs throughout life). Keep in mind, when a girl develops a UTI, we treat it with antibiotics and probiotic yogurts and cranberry - not with circumcision.

The Canadian researchers also found the infection risk is greater regardless of whether or not the boys have a visible urethra. A visible urethra is irrelevant, in all honesty. A boy could be only partially circumcised and still not have a visible urethra, uncircumcised with a visible urethra, or circumcised with a completely visible and bared urethra - so why is this even brought up?

Circumcision involves removal of the foreskin at the tip of the penis. Wrong again - circumcision removes the equivalent of a 3"x5" index card worth of skin on an adult male, over 20,000 nerve endings, and - since the penis typically emerges from the foreskin when engorged - actually removes length from the penis as well. To top it off, circumcision removes healthy, functioning skin that provides the penis with sensitivity and added lubrication that benefits both partners during sex. Check here and here for some basic illustrations and concepts showing exactly what circumcision removes. Warning: the first link is NSFW and contains a picture of a penis. Long story short (see what I did there?), circumcision removes a LOT more than just a little skin at the "tip" of the penis.

For the study, published July 9 in the journal CMAJ, the researchers analyzed information on nearly 400 boys who visited an emergency room with symptoms of a urinary tract infection. Forty of these boys had not been circumcised and had a visible urethra; 269 weren't circumcised and had a partially visible or nonvisible urethra; and 84 were circumcised. I see two issues with this. First, 400 is a very small study size, and numbers closer to the thousands would likely provide results that follow the typical curve that researchers are used to seeing. Second, this is a Canadian study, performed in a Canadian hospital, and Canada has a MUCH lower circumcision rate than America does. That being said, that is even more reason to up the ante and call for a higher number of boys to be followed. This also does not appear to follow any boys whose parents brought them to the doctor instead of to the ER, meaning there is likely a large portion of the study that has been completely ignored that should be included.

"We thought that incomplete foreskin retractability with a poorly visible urethral [opening] may be associated with increased risk of urinary tract infection," the study's co-author, Dr. Sasha Dubrovsky, of Montreal Children's Hospital at McGill University Health Center, said in a journal news release. "However, we found no difference in risk with degree of visibility of the urethral opening."

The researchers pointed out that boys with a completely visible urethra were also at higher risk of infection. They noted, however, that this finding was based on a small sample size and is not supported by previous research. So, again, two things here: One, they found that boys who had a completely visible urethra were at a higher risk of infection, which is a fact that most researchers can agree on - and it is more likely for a boy, especially a young one, to have a visible urethra if he is circumcised. The second problem is that last sentence there. Let me repeat it for you: "[...]  this finding was based on a small sample size and is not supported by previous research." In other words, the researchers are stating VERY PLAINLY that they are aware that this SINGLE research study, conducted with too few participants in a too-limited environment, is likely baseless because it doesn't follow along with pretty much ANY other study performed thus far that seems to agree with the concept that circumcision raises the likelihood of UTIs in otherwise healthy male babies. So, uh. Why is this news, then?

"We suggest that clinicians should consider circumcision status alone, not the degree of urethral visibility, when stratifying risk for boys presenting to the emergency department with symptoms suggesting a urinary tract infection," the researchers said. So, what? If a boy comes to the ER with a potential UTI, why does the status of his penis suddenly matter so much? Nearly every other study done in a first-world country plainly shows that a circumcised boy is more likely to develop a UTI at some point in his life than a non-circumcised boy. See here, here, here, and here for more info. It's believed at this point that the only reason there are studies potentially agreeing with the statement that circumcision CAN prevent UTIs is because parents with intact boys may not be educated as to how to properly care for the foreskin, and may be regularly retracting the foreskin and thus introducing bacteria needlessly into the urethra by retracting and cleaning, even though it is unnecessary and SHOULD NOT be done. (For reference, a boy's foreskin should not be retracted or cleaned under with soap; he should be the first to retract it when he is capable of doing so without causing himself pain or discomfort, and soap should NEVER be used to clean under the foreskin, only warm water, once the child's foreskin is retractable.)

The study does not show that not circumcising boys causes infection, merely that the risk for infection is greater among these boys. Hardly. There are innumerable studies that completely refute this "fact", and the researchers admitted to as much above. In truth, this study shows absolutely nothing, except that people are capable of skewing information as much as they please to get the result that they're looking for - such as openly admitting several glaring issues, and purposefully overlooking several more, but stating that somehow the results still speak for themselves.
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The point here, folks, is that circumcision isn't necessary. Keeping your kids - male and female - intact does not somehow magically open them up to more infections, nor does it present them some mystical immunity to diseases. The fact of the matter is that responsibility (teaching children to use protection in the form of condoms during sexual encounters), education (introducing cranberry, probiotic yogurts and kefir drinks, along with antibiotics, during UTIs, and maintaining proper cleaning techniques for both genders), and common sense (don't retract if intact; only clean what is seen) are what will keep our kids from getting UTIs, and will decrease their risk of yeast infections and other STDs. Circumcision is not a condom, or an antibiotic, or a cure-all. It is a painful, unnecessary medical procedure that is illegal to perform on girls, although some "studies" have shown that the same supposed "benefits" would exist for females as they supposedly would for males. There is no reason to circumcise your son.

On Lammas

With summer officially under way and fall harvest activities looming right around the corner, the next closest pagan holiday we'll be celebrating is Lammas, also known as Lughnasadh. Traditionally celebrated from the end of July to the beginning of August, Lammas signifies the beginning of the harvest and the end of the warmest, life-giving part of the year; it is a preperation for the fall and winter, and a celebration of the bountiful givings of the land. It's a lot like the traditional American Thanksgiving, with the focus on sharing the bounty of hard work, although truly that celebration is saved for later in September. During Lammas we share fall fruits, fresh baked bread, grains, berries, and those with altars sometimes add a small loaf of bread to their altar to offer up to the Lady.

Although I've already shared a good easy bread recipe earlier, those of you wishing to make bread that involves a little more time and effort (and thus more good energy and thoughtful blessings) but doesn't mean a billion more ingredients might consider taking this route instead:

Ingredients:
3 cups of good bread flour (if you need a gluten-free flour, go for it)
1/4 tsp instant yeast (do NOT get the slower stuff, trust me on this)
3/4 tsp kosher salt (or about 1 tsp regular fine table salt if you must)
1 1/2 cups lukewarm water (you know, the kind of water that yeast loves)

Instructions:
Mix dough the night before you intend on cooking it. Combine all ingredients in a large non-metal bowl with a wooden or plastic spoon until it just comes together. It will probably look like a gloopy mess and will be very sticky but that's okay! Cover it in plastic wrap and set it on the countertop in a dark place for 12-24 hours, or really however long you need to. If you set it out overnight, and your kids help you make it before they head to bed, it can sit all day while you're at work or otherwise busy and that won't hurt it.
The next day the dough SHOULD be kind of bubbly and just as sticky. Use a wet or olive oil coated spoon or spatula to dump it onto a well-floured surface of your choice, then fold the ends around and use the spatula to make it into a rough ball shape. If you use your hands, make sure they stay wet or coated in olive oil or the dough will stick BADLY! Place the dough onto a large piece of parchment paper and put that into a large bake-safe bowl, such as a well-seasoned and coated cast iron pan, a Pyrex baking dish, or some other bake-safe container that can safely sit out. Cover the dough with a towel (don't let the towel touch the dough) and let it rest for 2-3 hours. About 30 minutes from the end of your "wait time", place the covered container into the oven and preheat it to around 450.
At the end of this half an hour, the dough should have doubled again. Remove the container from the oven and the parchment paper and dough from the container, then return the bread dough to the container (spray with cooking spray or coat pan with olive oil if it isn't non-stick or well-seasoned). Bake covered for about half an hour, then uncover and bake about another 20 minutes or until bread is golden brown.
For Lammas, consider instead seperating your bread into equal-lengthed strips just before the final bake and braiding it. Brush the tops with olive oil, then add fun and festive herbs such as parsley, basil, rosemary, chives, and cilantro. For ultimate herb flavor, add them to the bread during mixing. Consider making a similarly-flavored butter by just combining your favorite butter with the same herbs in another bowl and using it as a spread. These braided loaves should be cooked on a shallow or flat baking sheet on parchment paper.

Alternate ideas:
- Add dried cranberries, fresh apple chunks, or a little brown sugar to make this into a truly festive Lammas bread that you can share with friends and family to celebrate the harvest!
- Consider sharing with coworkers, teachers, postal workers, or paper carriers by making a small braided loaf, allowing it to cool, and then wrapping it in an inexpensive checkered tea towel (think your local dollar store) tied off with a length of twine or plain string and a simple, handwritten note.
- Make it a learning experience: If you are part of a church or group that has younger members, this can be a fun chance to help them learn not only valuable life lessons (cooking, cleaning up, group contribution) but to learn about where food comes from. Have every child volunteer an ingredient if possible, and then get their help measuring out the ingredients, mixing, adding, and cleaning up afterwards. Obviously the baking portion should be left to adults or older members, but the children will love the chance to learn something new and will enjoy tasting their creation!
- Make a dessert bread by adding in a little sugar to the mix and sprinkling a cinnamon/brown sugar mixture on top of the bread just before baking. Afterwards, serve with honey butter or your favorite jam.

On Another Recipe

Here's another good one for you - not made vegetarian/vegan as easily, but with ingenuity I imagine it would be just as good. This is great in the slow cooker; start the meat the night before, and in the morning shred it and add the noodles.

Warning: this is not a low-calorie, low-fat recipe, so eat at your own risk! Please keep in mind that Hubby and I cook enough to serve five people and have leftovers for us to take to work.

Slow cooker stroganoff

Ingredients:
3-4 lb cut of bottom round roast of beef (with meat as expensive as it is right now, feel free to substitute with turkey burger or ground beef, but keep your cooker temperature lower during the day and consider adding more water to keep it from burning)
1 large bag (usually 14-16 oz) of your preferred type of egg noodles (there are Amish no-egg noodles at our local Hy-Vee that come in a clear bag with red printing and a twist tie closure, and I LOVE them in this dish)
1 4oz package or container of cream cheese
1 4oz container of sour cream (use your leftover sour cream from my Mexibread below in this dish!)
1 cup white onion
1 1/2 cup milk
Water as needed (to keep beef from sticking to cooker, and to help cook noodles)
Seasonings (salt, pepper, parsley, chives to taste)

Instructions:
Place beef into slow cooker, fat-side down. Add seasonings, onion, and water (about one cup should be okay), put on lid and cook on high for about 8 hours. In the morning, flip the meat over; you should be able to gently peel the strip of fat off of the bottom of the meat without much difficulty, then shred the meat. Add entire package of noodles, milk, and more water as needed, along with all of the cream cheese and sour cream. Allow to cook on low as long as necessary, either until the noodles are fully cooked or until you are able/ready to eat, whichever you please.

Serves five with leftovers for several days.

On A Recipe

We're big on recipes around here - ones that are straightforward, easy, require few ingredients, and still have a flavor familiarity that can accomodate a picky almost-three-year-old and a five-year-old who won't eat anything green without a huge struggle. We cook things that, during or after assembly, are "walk-away" foods: meals taht don't require having someone stand over them constantly, staring at the meal from start to finish to make sure nothing burns or is overcooked. Most of all, our meals require being sneaky, trying to get kids to eat things they wouldn't otherwise try without being paired with a familiar food.

Today, I share what I made for dinner last night - a tasty Mexican-inspired dish that can easily be made vegetarian or vegan without batting an eye. Please be aware I cook for five people with intentional leftovers for Hubby and I to take to work for lunch.

Ingredients:
3 lbs ground beef (for low-fat option, choose ground turkey; for vegetarian/vegan choose semi-firm tofu or tofu crumbles that are marinated in the seasonings listed or vegetarian chorizo and ground veggie burgers)
2 boxes Jiffy cornbread
2 eggs (for vegan, choose egg substitute either powdered or liquid)
2/3 cup milk (for vegan or lactose intolerant, choose soy or almond milk, or other milk substitute of your choice)
1 12oz jar Tostidos salsa, your preference of heat (mild, medium, hot)
Seasonings (garlic, onion, white pepper, black pepper, salt, Tobasco sauce, chili powder, paprika, red pepper flakes, parsley, all to taste)
1 12oz bag Mexican cheese blend (for vegan, choose a veggie cheese blend of similar cheeses)
1 12oz bag frozen corn (if desired)
1 8oz box frozen spinach (if desired)
Sour cream (for topping, if desired)

Instructions:
Crumble and brown meat until mostly cooked (some pink at this point is normal and okay; meat will finish cooking in the oven). Add seasonings, jar of salsa, and veggies if they are being added; stir to combine and then spread into the bottom of a glass 13x9" baking dish. Top with 3/4 bag of Mexican cheese. Combine eggs, milk, small sprinkle of red pepper flakes, remaining cheese, and both boxes of cornbread in another bowl, stir until most clumps are gone. Spread cornbread mostly evenly atop meat mixture and pop into oven set to 375 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until top of cornbread is brown and a knife stuck into the middle of the cornbread comes out clean. Slice and serve topped with extra cheese and/or salsa if desired, and sour cream.

Serves five, with leftovers for two days of lunch for two people.

This would also work in a slow cooker on high if you were able to add in the cornbread about an hour before cooking was completed.